Welcome to Cruiz2.com.  My name is Melvyn and I live in Broughshane, Northern Ireland.  At the age of 26 I became extremely unwell due to mental illness.  I was fortunate to get the help I needed, others aren't so lucky. Not one, but three Guardian Angels came to give me the support, the comfort and the guidance that I needed.

The first was my GP, who believed me, even when I didn't believe myself.  The second was someone I found from a leaflet somewhere, probably a waiting room.  The third was my Employment Officer, employed by a mental health charity, who guided me back to paid employment after a 10 year absence.

I wasn't supposed to get the job, it was just supposed to be a practice run at a job interview, but no-one told that to Gail and she gave me the job anyway.  I have been working for her for almost 10 years now.  Being back in paid employent gave me a sense of value again, somewhere I am supposed to go and somewhere I am supposed to be.  I can pay my own bills again.  Today I have everything, I once knew, I would never have and I owe much of it to being back in paid employment - Thank you!

Asking for help isn't easy - those who are supposed to help, often let us down . But there is a reason the word - can't - doesn't exist.  Let me share with you the reason:

My illness told me that I would never have a girlfriend, never mind a wife because no-one would want me.  "You can't," it said.  "I know," I said, "But I can still try!"  "It won't work it said," I know," I said, "but I can still try!"  "Nothing you can do!" it said, "I know," I said, "but I can still try!".

I knew I would never have my own family, I would never have children, I would never be happy.  I would never have a job, a car, a home - "You can't," it said.  "I know," I said, "but I can still try!"

The journey was long, perilous and difficult.  It was often made worse by those who were supposed to offer help and guidance, but more often than not, all they offered were lies, excuses and disappointment.  But what you learn as a child sticks with you forever, and as a child I learned that if at first you don't succeed, try , try again.

I compared myself to others - if they can do it, why not me?  It gave me hope that tomorrow, might be better than today.  My illness argued that it was pointless, a waste of time.  All I was doing was delaying the inevitable.  "But I can still try.  Maybe tomorrow," I delayed, "will be better than today."  As often as I could I gave myself a week, then another, then another.  If that seemed too far away, then tomorrow, tomorrow will be better than today.

As tomorrows turned into months, and months into years, my illness kept asking if I hadn't suffered enough yet?  "Not yet," I delayed, "maybe I'll give up tomorrow."  That's why there is no such word as can't.  When we say can't, what we really mean is - I give up!

We all give up sometimes.  Our computers just won't do what we want them to do, so we give up and get a new one.  A puzzle we just can't work out, so we give up and try to forget about the damned thing and find something better to occupy our minds.  Sometimes, even an argument is hard to win, when you realise you're on the wrong side of it, better just to give up than keep fighting a lost cause.

We will all give up eventually, but not today, perhaps tomorrow, but NOT today!  Today, I see my illness as a gift.  I have learned how to live with it, to stand up for myself, to fight for the help that I sometimes need.  My illness is a liar.  Today I have everything, I once knew, I would never have!

Mental Illness must affect ALL of us at some point.  If it doesn't affect you directly, then it will get you through friends or family.  The purpose of this site is to make it easier for people who need help to find help.  My second objective is to create a new source of revenue so there can be more of it! 

My idea is simple.  A local community/ies help promote a website (Cruiz2.com) in a way that is effective, local businesses use it to promote their goods and services.  Any 'advertising revenue' raised is given back to the local community via a local organisation - such as Broughshane and District Community Association.  With checks and balances (politicians/health authorities) the money is spent improving the lives of people with mental illness.  It could be someone I care about - it could be someone YOU care about!  Hopefully more communities will join in as the site increases in popularity.

I have no desire to make any money from this site (Cruiz2.com), however, if it does become successful, I do hope to build other sites and perhaps I will be able to make money from them.  In one of the very first letters of support I received for my idea, three lines sum up my website nicely: A local website, in a global framework and a FORCE for GOOD!

If you know someone with a mental illness, perhaps my story can give them some comfort and hope for better days ahead - here's a preview:

A message of HOPE

Absent due to depression, that's what was on the sick-note I handed into my employer on a regular basis.  It could so easily have applied to me as well, for I was as absent from life as I was from work.

Struggle as I did, my employment finally came to an end and with it almost every social aspect of my life.  Go away colleagues, go away friends, go away neighbours, loved ones and all.

Not that I didn't try.  Again and again I tried and again after that.  Doing this, doing that, but nothing ever seemed to help.  I talked to one, I talked to all, I talked to myself and I talked to the wall - but nothing ever helped.

Then in deepest despair the wings of an Angel - one - two - three.  The help that I needed, the comfort, the guidance, now look and see I'm back to me!

Let's not think of years lost, but of the future to come, dreams yet to fulfill and prizes won.  The future you see, is now up to me.  I'm no longer shackled, no longer a 'tomb'!

If I have learned anything from my 'life experiences', I have learned that money doesn't make me happy - PEOPLE make me happy.  People made me happy, when I felt abandoned and alone.  People made me happy, when they called me on the phone! 

People made me happy, my Guardian Angels three.  People made me happy, the time they spent with me.  People made me happy, when I finally found a wife.  People made me happy, when I finally found a life.

People make me happy - my children most of all.  And YOU could make me happy, if you choose to help, please call!