My LIFE - My Choice!
Others often think they know what you should do 'to get better'. But what would be right for them, isn't necessarily what's right for YOU. We don't all have the same passions, goals or 'dreams'. While some chase money, I chase - what I think - will make me happy!
Someone to believe me: My GP my 'Guardian Angel' for a reason. There were often times when I doubted myself. But my GP never did!
Someone to listen: Ideally, this could (perhaps should) be your 'other doctor'. I found talking to family just made things worse. The more I shared my thoughts the more they responded with sadness, frustration or sometimes lack of understanding - which of these emotions is supposed to make 'me' feel better?
My second Guardian Angel was someone I found through a leaflet on a door somewhere, it could have been any number of charitable or community organisations. I think there are 'guardian angels' all around us - you just have to find the one that's right for you!
Employment: My third Guardian Angel was my Employment Officer, employed through Action Mental Health. She flew off somewhere, I know not where or when! My job, and my current 'Other Doctor' are the two most important tools I have to fight my illness.
I would argue that it doesn't have to be 'paid employment'. Just somewhere you can feel 'valued'. Something to get up for, somewhere you have to prepare for, and a place to socialise, especially if it's with those you normally wouldn't - it's good for challenging your own values and sense of right and wrong.
We can compare ourselves to others and value what we sometimes take for granted and see things from someone else's perspective. My colleagues are also my 'agony aunt', friendly foes, bantering partners and my boss doubles as my own personal fitness instructor!
They are also my own personal library of 'advisers' whenever any problems arise regardless of whether they are work related or personal.
Before finding 'paid employment' I often volunteered for a number of different organisations, for the main purpose of 'socialisation'. The more I stayed at home, the more I feared going out. By the time I was offered a place at 'Nuts n Bolts' I was beginning to fear going to the local shop just in case someone who knew me, would ask how I was!
My efforts were often rewarded with a certificate of achievement or appreciation. When I showed them to my employer if body language is anything to go by, I think she was 'impressed'!
What helped:
Not knowing about WRAP: It was only after I had done it, I discovered my 'recovery' had a name and it's name is WRAP (Wellness Recovery Action Plan). Find out more about it through your local health authority 'Recovery College' or ask a health professional. If they don't know - ask them why not?
Relying on others: How can others know what would help me if they don't have the same personality as me, share the same sense of right and wrong or have the same hopes and dreams. It's MY illness, and it's my responsibility to find the help that I need!
Exercise: Exercise is the answer to everything - NOT! If I don't enjoy exercise when I am well, why would it make me 'happy' doing it when I haven't been eating anything healthy or slept properly for days on end! Ok, I admit it - exercise is 'probably' good for you, but it's no 'miracle cure'!
Refusing medication: To be honest I still have a problem with this one, but if I don't do as instructed it gives others the 'excuse' that my illness is my fault because I'm not doing what I should be doing! That said the less I take it, the more I feel I don't need it - feelings affect behaviour! Some health professionals should understand this better, me thinks!
Knowing BEFORE you know! I knew going to a GP wouldn't help me. How can they help with loneliness, debt, unemployment or any of the other 'real' reasons for 'feeling blue'? I was wrong, a family member made an appointment with 'their' GP and it was the first step to recovery. All my 'real' reasons for feeling blue, didn't stop me being unwell, and being unable to think rationally!
Neglect: People can often get great comfort from a pet. I once had a beautiful dog but I neglected to get her the vaccinations she needed. I watched her cough up, what seemed like, litres of blood all over the kitchen floor. It is one of my biggest regrets.
If you get a pet, for their sake - please learn from my mistake! I am not a perfect person and I make no claim to be!
Not getting the help I needed: Asking for help often isn't enough. Those who are supposed to help, often let us down. If - like me - you were 'born a mouse', then learn to bark!
There are many organisations that can help you find the help you need, but ultimately I take the view that it's my illness, so it's my responsibility:
My life, My choice!